Fantasy Baseball is the WORST

If naming my fantasy baseball team the Grichuk Fan Club wasn’t temping fate enough, my team has been absolutely DESTROYED by injuries which leads me to a pretty biased and personal conclusion: Fantasy Baseball is the WORST.

Having contributed cash to two fantasy pools for the privilege to play fantasy baseball for the 2018 season, I can decidedly say that THAT is the worst investment I have ever made. And this is coming from a guy with a sizeable Beanie Baby collection.

The desire to play fantasy baseball comes off of an emotionally vulnerable state that come up when the NFL season ends. The majority of us didn’t win our fantasy football leagues and thus our never ending desire to be a winner at something leads us to find people as dumb as we are to set aside 19 hours to draft a team full of players we don’t know and will likely hate in no time.

And that is issue one with Fantasy Baseball: the teams are too big and the draft sucks. 28 players on one team and 26 on the other – simply too many players. I love baseball, but more honestly I love the Toronto Blue Jays. So why am I letting Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Nick Privetta destroy my mental sanity by caring about his up and down start to the 2018 season? Or why did I spend good time searching for sleeper-break out stars that can get me some saves without sacrificing an early round pick? Because i’m a broken human being who believes I can GM a pro sports team better than someone who actually has the credentials to do that job.

What factors into this team size issue is the fact that you have to draft position players and pitchers – all positions, plus utility players (any position), then you have starters, relievers, and closers. With pitchers playing on a five day rotation you have to move players every day, and also have to build a roster of pitchers who can be applied on different days so you can maximize your stats. As I type this I am literally getting mad because I am reliving the nightmare of sitting Homer Bailey by accident when he threw a no-hitter… five years ago.

Simply put, unless you are obsessed with the sport there are just too many players to have to pick from, especially when you are forced to draft online with a bunch of tools who take the entire 2:30 minutes to pick their player who ends up usually being the next best player available.

Issue two is what I am currently struggling with: the season is too damn long. 162 games. Too many. It is just about the two month mark of the season now and I just don’t give a shit anymore about this team full of injured assholes I proudly drafted what seems like a thousand years ago.

Can this be resolved? Sure – start the fantasy baseball season on July 1st. Injuries have settled, you know what teams are contending, you can narrow rosters because entire teams will have limited to no value, and you skip three months of crappy “are the Rockies actually a good team?” baseball.

The final issue is the injuries and disabled list usage in the MLB. Everyone is injured, everyone is on the 10 day DL, or not playing and listed as day-to-day. As it sits right now I have seven players on the DL, all are really good players as well, so my two designated DL roster spots are filled and the remaining five players are just corpses sitting on my bench because I can’t drop them.

I am also a victim of late preseason injury. Yup, I drafted Motocross Madison Bumgarner. That dick though it would be a sweet idea to crash his dirt bike two weeks from the start of the MLB season, and has yet to see playing time. Cool.

Also, I drafted both Daniel Murphy and Ervin Santana who I knew would start the season on the DL. Their draft stock fell so it was good value. Two months later Santana has been shifted to the 60-Day DL, while Murphy is STILL listed on the 10-Day DL. The designation is ridiculous and I hate it. Two draft spots wasted, and I swear Murphy and Santana are actually laughing at me.

The worst part about all of this is that even if I was winning and not dropping like a stone in the standings I still don’t think I would care. I literally sit at a computer all day and I cant find the 45 seconds it would take to shift my roster around to get my starting players actually slotted in! So I am taking a stand and protesting the rest of the season by not adjusting my line up. This features on one team an empty 2B spot, and on the other a few DL players still in my starting line up – it just doesn’t matter.

What have I learned from this? Well that I am a weak person (as previously mentioned) that needs to win the admiration and respect of strangers through my prowess of being an imaginary MLB GM. The conclusion: i’ll do the same stupid thing next year.

See ya in April! …I hate myself.

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