Dear Joey Votto… You Didn’t Have To Be A Dick

*This picture will be pretty ironic by the time you’re done reading this.

In a recent interview with Yahoo Sports Canada, Cincinatti Red’s Canadian first baseman and perennial team MVP candidate Joey Votto expressed his opinions on Canadian baseball:

“As far as Toronto, and Canadian baseball, and the country of Canada, and [James Paxton] being Canadian, I don’t care at all,” Votto clarified. “[Paxton], or the Jays, or Canada, in general, may disagree with that, but I really couldn’t give a rats a** about that.”

Ass, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass. Yahoo’s censorship will not be supported here.

Kinda shitty though, right?

So, apparently Votto doesn’t care “almost at all” about Canadian baseball. Interesting and sad, really. The nation that constantly supports is jovial bad-boy and proudly boasts his Canadian heritage is let down by the nationally indifferent player.

The quote the result of Votto being asked about a recent event in the MLB that can only be described as a Canadian baseball vortex of immense proportions. James Paxton, Canadian starting pitcher for the Seattle Mariners, no-hit the Toronto Blue Jays in Toronto. Short of doing it with a double-double in his hand and maple syrup on the ball for extra grip, this scenario was almost too Canadian to handle. The Canadian media was blowing up the story as the the unsigned draft pick of the Blue Jays came back to haunt them years later, while sporting a massive maple leaf tattoo on his arm – and rightfully so.

Votto’s response to this is a little disappointing. Canada has so much trouble getting recognition world-wide for their impressive list of players in international sports, and one of their best MLB players speaking out about how uniquely Canadian story doesn’t register to him hurts the cause.

The NBA and TMZ would both be lost without Canadian Tristan Thompson cheating on his Kardashian baby-mama while simultaneously contending (is use this term loosely) for the Eastern Conference Championship. While the Winnipeg Jets fly the lone Canadian flag in the NHL Playoffs, and Brooke Henderson sits top-20 in the LPGA world golf rankings at just 20 years old. Not to mention Canada racking up 29 medals in the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang, good enough for 3rd place overall with six more medals than the United States.

Canadians are actually doing a bunch of cool stuff in the sports world better than a lot of other people. If Votto can’t see that, and can’t understand the importance of that for a nation that constantly lives in the shadow of its egotistical, arrogant neighbour to the South, than maybe a change of citizenship is in order.

Sound too drastic of a response for a man who just made an inflammatory comment on Canadian sports? Well…

“I don’t care almost at all about Canadian baseball…I wasn’t raised inside of Canadian baseball really […] I’m coming up on half of my life being in the United States working and being supported by American baseball.”

It’s not too drastic, see?

With such shortsightedness, I say let the Americans have him. Enjoy the 26th most full stadium in the league, in a team that can’t figure out how to rebuild. I guess some people would rather stay a big fish in a little pond, even if that means living your entire life in Cincinnati – gross.

*The picture above is of Joey Votto in a Mountie uniform on MLBTV. There clearly must have been a cash incentive for him to wear what I can only assume he would view as distasteful garb.

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